Retirement is a major life change. When you prepare for retirement as a couple, whether you’ve been married for a few years or many decades, be sure your dreams and resources are aligned so you’re both moving in the same direction.
The way to do that is through open, honest communication. Don’t back away from tough conversations.
No matter how solid your marriage is, keep in mind that you are separate people. And no matter how compatible you are, you are going to have different goals, opinions, and preferences. Talking about those issues is an essential part of successful retirement planning.
Don’t assume that you are the same people today that you were when you got married—you’re not. You’ve spent years potentially having babies and raising children, going to school and earning advanced degrees, building careers and businesses, traveling, and gaining a variety of life experiences both good and challenging. You’ve changed and so has your spouse. And you need to communicate authentically about the people you’ve become and what you really want out of the life stage we call retirement.
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24-25, NLT)
Some of the issues you need to discuss include:
When will you each stop working? It’s rare for couples to leave their primary careers at the same time. Talk about a plan for that change and for how you’ll manage your new respective schedules and the impact it will have on your relationship and lifestyle.
How will you spend your time? You might want to continue to work, but at a slower pace or maybe even in a completely new field. You might want to volunteer. Or you may want to enjoy some hobbies, spend time with family, travel, or do those things you always promised yourself you’d do someday. You don’t have to walk in total lockstep with each other, but you should have a plan that will allow you to both be fulfilled.
Where will you live? Do you want to stay in your current home? Move to a new place? Relocate to be closer to family? Explore all your options before you make a decision.
What is your income and spending plan? This is, of course, a key element of financial planning. Know how much your retirement lifestyle is going to cost and how you are going to pay for it.
How will you handle health and long-term care needs and costs? Evaluate your current state of health and family histories and talk about how you’ll deal with best- and worst-case health scenarios.
How will you manage potential conflicts as you adjust to your retirement lifestyle? No matter how well you plan, there will be unexpected bumps—or even craters—in the road of your retirement journey. Know ahead of time how you will deal with them.
Speak up, set the tone, and create a relationship where honesty and respect thrive. If you need help, call in a third party—a counselor, pastor, or even financial advisor—who can assist in guiding the conversation.
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